Patient Stories

I remember February 6, 2002 very well. It was the day silence came to an end. I woke up and went to work that day like I had so many days before. Was there a hint of tinnitus in the morning? I don’t remember. What I do remember is that by the afternoon I had a screaming noise in my left ear.

My tinnitus came about after repeated exposure to loud noise while playing Wallyball, a game in an enclosed racquetball court. The noise sounded like a gunshot going off near my right ear each time I hit the ball. I had no idea that this sound was damaging my hearing until it was too late. I was very upset at the time since, ironically, I was trying to increase my physical activity to reduce stress and get in better shape. Now that I had constant ringing in my ear, I had even more stress than before.

Chronic illness will test anyone’s mettle. And pain aside, illness can send a patient into an emotional tailspin and often send loved ones right along with. Over time, chronic illness can tear some relationships apart, straining couples financially and causing the caretaker to resent the loss of enjoyable pastimes in favor of caring for the ill partner. Miraculously, illness brings some couples closer together as it puts life into sharper and more precious perspective.

The principal aim of my album is to provide a period of listening that masks tinnitus and relaxes the listener, thus overriding the heightened emotional response to tinnitus.

Tinnitus has been a very noisy part of my life for eight years – ever since the day I changed the battery in a smoke detector and the unthinkable occurred: The alarm went off next to my ear. It all happened in a split second. … I used to think my experience was unique, but I was wrong. Through the American Tinnitus Association, I found a network of wonderful people ready to share their stories, people who understand whistling teakettles and jet engine sounds. I came to realize that lots of people live with tinnitus every day, and that there are many ways to cope with it – and cope with it well.

When her tinnitus struck, Barbara was in the midst of her teaching career, working with 7th and 8th grade students. She and her husband, Dean, enjoyed taking motorcycle day tours. And though Barbara experienced episodes of tinnitus after a few of their rides, it seemed to always go away. But on Aug. 3, 2000, it was here to stay. On this day, Barbara says she “went into panic mode, with a bit of hysteria.” Knowing nothing about tinnitus, she found her way to ATA’s 1-800 number and to a tinnitus support group in her area. Upon learning that she wasn’t alone with her disquieting experience, she immediately felt better.

I have devoted my life to the study of sound. I am not a physicist, a doctor, or an audiologist. I am a master of sound, an accomplished concert pianist. Since the age of eight, I’ve studied the relationship between the body and the vibration of musical notes. What I couldn’t have known is that one day I would deeply yearn for the one note I would never hear again – the note of “no sound.”